I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
