Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
