Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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