you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
