bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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