I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
