My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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