Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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