I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
