I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
