Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
