I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
