Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize