She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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