I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
