This dress was meant to end up on your floor
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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