The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
