I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
