hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
