is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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