Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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