addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
barbara walters just said penis...
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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