At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
