A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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