Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
