If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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