I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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