I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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