I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
