So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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