i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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