i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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