who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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