hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
