Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
