How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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