maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
