awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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