i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
