i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
