in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
