i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
