kristin has been a bad kristin
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
