I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
