I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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