Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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