You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
