I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
