He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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