so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
